Retirement is a long way off for most of us. With the cost of living rising and many being outpriced of the housing market, the current retirement age of 65 is looking more like being 75 for a lot of young people. That’s not to say everyone is struggling, with some people making bank and working towards retiring before they hit 60. But no matter whether you are years away from retiring or on track to stop working in the coming years, there are a lot of inspirational and funny retirement quotes by many famous people that can help you see retirement in a different light.
For most of us, retirement is a long way off, but it’s a goal we all want to reach. The satisfaction of being able to withdraw from the workforce and live your remaining years as you see fit is the dream we all have. After many years of hard work, retirement is when we can say goodbye to our boss and coworkers and start a new chapter. That’s when a retirement quote comes in handy.
It can be a challenging time for some. After so many years of working day in and day out, it can be difficult to know what to do with your life. That’s why a retirement plan is always handy so that when you finally retire and have a retirement party to celebrate, you have some direction as to where your life is going during your final years.
Hopefully when you finally retire your employer and coworkers appreciate all you have done. You might be expected to make a speech or say a few words. Or if it is someone else pulling the plug, retirement messages and giving your best wishes in a greeting card might be the order of the day. Whatever the situation, we have gathered some fantastic retirement quotes you can use for all occasions.
Many of these quotes come from famous people and are inspirational, thoughtful, funny, and thought-provoking. They can be used as love quotes to show how much you care about your coworkers, or retirement wishes as they walk off into the sunset of early retirement. Not all of them are retirement specific, but they do relate to the subject and are sure to be useful. As you will see funny retirement quotes are a great way to celebrate a happy retirement.
1. “Retirement is like a long vacation in Las Vegas. The goal is to enjoy it to the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.” – Jonathan Clements
2. “It is better to live rich than to die rich.” – Samuel Johnson
3. “Retirement is wonderful. It’s doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it.” – Gene Perret
4. “Often when you think you’re at the end of something, you’re at the beginning of something else.” – Fred Rogers
5. “The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off.” – Abe Lemons
6. “Retire from work, but not from life.” – M.K. Soni
7. “We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give.” – Winston Churchill
8. “I’m going to retire, withdraw from public life, and become a hermit crab.” – Derek Zoolander (Zoolander 2)
9. “What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? Retired.” – Unknown
10. “You’re not very good at retiring.” – Bowrey King. “I’m workin’ on it.” – John Wick (John Wick: Chapter 2)
11. “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” – Maya Angelou
12. “Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” – Mark Twain
13. “Retirement: It’s nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.” – Gene Perret
14. “Retirement, a time to do what you want to do, when you want to do it, where you want to do it, and how you want to do it.” – Catherine Pulsifer
15. “Some of the best memories are made in flip flops.” – Kellie Elmore
16. “You can retire, but you can’t retire from being great!” – Unknown
17. “I’ve seen people get old, retire, and die. Rarely on the same day.” – Kaulder (The Last Witch Hunter)
18. “If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there’d be no shortage of fishing poles.” – Doug Larson
19. “There is no need to be bound by convention, push the envelope, do it weird, do it different, but most of all, do it fun! Be that cigar-chomping rock’n’roll granny if it takes your fancy.” –Stella Rheingold
20. “I can’t wait to retire so I can get up at 6 o’clock in the morning and go drive around really slow and make everybody late for work.” – Unknown
21. “When a man retires, his wife gets twice as much husband for half as much money.” – Chi Chi Rodriguez
22. “There is a whole new kind of life ahead, full of experiences just waiting to happen. Some call it retirement; I call it bliss.” – Betty Sullivan
23. “Retirement: That’s when you return from work one day and say: ‘Hi, Honey, I’m home – forever.'” – Gene Perret
24. “There are some who start their retirement long before they stop working.” – Robert Half
25. “In retirement, I look for days off from my days off.” – Mason Cooley
26. “It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.” – Andy Rooney
27. “Except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did.” – Robert Benchley
28. “In your retirement years never drink coffee at lunch; it will keep you aware in the afternoon.” – Unknown
29. “Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” – Oscar Wilde
30. “You’re retired – goodbye tension, hello pension!” – Unknown
31. “I retire for what, like, five minutes, and it all goes to shit.” – Hawkeye (Captain America: Civil War)
32. “I’m not just retiring from the company. I’m also retiring from my stress, my commute, my alarm clock, and my iron.” – Hartman Jule
33. “Sometimes it’s hard to tell if retirement is a reward for a lifetime of hard work or a punishment.” – Terri Guillemets
34. “I think that retirement is the first step towards the grave.” – Hugh Hefner
35. “He who laughs last at the boss’s jokes probably isn’t far from retirement.” – Unknown
36. “Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples.” – George Burns
37. “It’s time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad, and I’d much rather say hello. Hello to a new adventure.” – Ernie Harwell
38. “Retirement is not in my vocabulary. They aren’t going to get rid of me that way.” – Betty White
39. “The company gave me an aptitude test and I found out the work I was best suited for was retirement.” – Unknown
40. “Retirement: It’s nice to get out of the rat race, but you have to learn to get along with less cheese.” – Gene Perret
41. “I’m what you might call retired. It’s a refined name for bum.” – Danny McGuire (Xanadu)
42. “I need to retire from retirement.” – Sandra Day O’Connor
43. “Instead of saving for someone else’s college education, I’m currently saving for a luxury retirement community replete with golf carts and handsome young male nurses who love butterscotch.” – Jen Kirkman
44. “Retirement is when you stop lying about your age and start lying around the house.” – Unknown
45. “Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save.” – Will Rogers
46. “My dad’s the type that would die six months after retiring, so I plan to have him work here forever.” – Rick Harrison
47. “If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” – Paulo Coelho
48. “I always likened retirement to falling off a cliff, and then you have to kind of brush yourself off.” – Steve Young
49. “Retirement is when you switch bosses from the one who hired you to the one who married you.” –Gene Perret
50. “My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned 60 and that’s the law.” – Jerry Seinfeld
51. “There’s never enough time to do all the nothing you want.” – Bill Watterson
52. “Retirement is a blank sheet of paper. It is a chance to redesign your life into something new and different.” – Patrick Foley
53. “Happy days are here at last, the days of nine to five are passed, you’ve worked your life and paid your dues, now you can do just what you choose!” – Unknown
54. “Don’t act your age in retirement. Act like the inner young person you have always been.” – J.A. West
55. “As in all successful ventures, the foundation of a good retirement is planning.” – Earl Nightingale
56. “Don’t simply retire from something; have something to retire to.” – Harry Emerson Fosdick
57. “In retirement, every day is boss day and every day is employee appreciation day.” – Unknown
58. “When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch.” – R.C. Sherriff
59. “Working people have a lot of bad habits, but the worst of these is work.” – Clarence Darrow
60. “The best part about being retired is never having to request time off.” – Unknown
61. “In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It’s the life in your years.” – Abraham Lincoln
62. “My retirement plan is to get thrown into a minimum security prison in Hawaii.” – Julius Sharpe
63. “To me, retirement means doing what you have fun doing.” – Dick Van Dyke
64. “Whatever resources of good health, character, and fortitude you bring to retirement, remember, also to bring money.” – Jane Bryant Quinn
65. “You can never have the comeback if you don’t have the retirement.” – Chael Sonnen
66. “We spend our lives on the run: we get up by the clock, eat and sleep by the clock, get up again, go to work – and then we retire. And what do they give us? A bloody clock!” – Dave Allen
67. “Retirement: world’s longest coffee break.” – Unknown
68. “I see retirement as just another of these reinventions, another chance to do new things and be a new version of myself.” – Walt Mossberg
69. “A lot of friends complain about their retirement. We tell ’em to get a life.” – Vince Lombardi
70. “Golf is played by 20 million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.” – Jim Bishop
71. “People are always asking me when I’m going to retire. Why should I? I’ve got it two ways. I’m still making movies, and I’m a senior citizen, so I can see myself at half price.” – George Burns
72. “If you really want to annoy me, ask me when I’m going to retire from rock n’ roll.” – Bruce Dickinson
73. “I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.” – Bob Hope
74. “The best thing about retirement is not having to wear pants.” – Mark Hewer
75. “It’s a good, quiet retirement. Most days I do nothing, but it takes me all day to do it.” – Barry Wilkin
76. “For many, retirement is a time for personal growth, which becomes the path to greater freedom.” – Robert Delamontague
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