The Bible is a sacred religious text featuring beautiful poems, thought-provoking verses, captivating stories, and a guy by the name of Jesus Christ. But the Bible also has a dark side showing the consequences of evil and what happens when you lack faith. It’s even known for featuring terrifying monsters that cause nightmares.
While it can be thought-provoking and scary, the Bible also has a sense of humor and includes many funny bible verses, inspirational bible verses, and thought-provoking stories. Several verses, when taken out of context, give the beautiful text a different meaning.
The Holy Bible also offers up lessons in life by depicting the most extreme evil, with many also acting as sweet and funny stories about marriage, wisdom, and even drinking. Here’s a look at ten humorous Bible verses sure to give you a laugh.
1. Matthew 21:18
“Early in the morning, as Jesus was on his way back to the city, he was hungry. Seeing a fig tree by the road, he went up to it but found nothing on it except leaves. Then he said to it, ‘May you never bear fruit again!’ Immediately the tree withered.”
Matthew 21 is the twenty-first chapter of the New Testament’s Book of Matthew. It recounts Jesus’s arrival in Jerusalem. At one point during this Bible verse, Jesus appears to become upset with a fig tree. He is hungry, sees the tree, and is hugely disappointed to find only leaves. Thus, he cursed the tree. Out of context, Matthew 21:18 depicts Jesus getting hangry. It happens to the best of us.
2. Proverbs 31:6
“Give beer to one who is dying and wine to one whose life is bitter.”
Out of context, Proverb 31:6, “Give beer to one who is dying and wine to one whose life is bitter,” sounds like good advice from a bartender. It sounds like encouragement to knock back a beer to two. Pity he doesn’t suggest a spirit like a whiskey or rum.
In the Hebrew Bible, the proverb offers profound wisdom and guidance, along with a few laughs about coping with life.
3. Job 10:10
“Did you not pour me out like milk and curdle me like cheese?”
In the Book of Job chapter 10, Job asks God (also known as Christ Jesus, Christ God, Lord Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit) a series of questions, almost like a trial. Job 10:10 questions, “Did you not pour me out like milk and curdle me like cheese?”
While it might seem like a funny verse, Job’s belief is God molded him into who he is today. We’ve all felt like a glass of milk and curdled cheese at some point in life.
4. Proverbs 21:19
“Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife.”
Let’s be honest, Proverbs 21:19, “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife,” also works with the roles reversed.
While it might seem like a routine out of a 1980s stand-up comedy special, the proverb makes a valid point. A toxic relationship isn’t good for either the husband or wife. It’s better to wait for the right person to have the perfect love with and form a positive and loving relationship with. Then you can spend eternal life together once this life comes to an end.
5. Galatians 5:12
“I wish those who are disturbing you might also get themselves castrated!”
In Epistle to the Galatians, Galatians 5:12 notes, “I wish those who are disturbing you might also get themselves castrated!” Luckily, this isn’t the official slogan of the library or Bible study classes. Nobody likes to be disturbed, but the threat of castration might be taking things a bit far.
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6. Acts 2:15
“For these people are not drunk, as you suppose, since it’s only nine in the morning.”
Specific Bible verses out of context are much funnier, however, even in context, you can find a bit of humor in these scriptures. Take the Acts of the Apostles which features a passionate speech from Peter.
He defends Jesus’ followers and their good work, noting in Acts 2:15, “For these people are not drunk, as you suppose, since it’s only nine in the morning.” Peter points out that their behavior is a profoundly religious thing and not due to alcohol or other substances as implied.
7. 1 Samuel 28:7
“Saul then said to his advisers, ‘Find a woman who is a medium, so I can go and ask her what to do.'”
In the Hebrew Bible and Old Testament, the Book of Samuel features the teachings of the prophet Samuel. While he generally offers solid counseling and talk of peace, one funny scripture provides interesting advice.
1 Samuel 28:7 states, “Saul then said to his advisers, ‘Find a woman who is a medium, so I can go and ask her what to do.'” In other words, Saul seeks advice from someone who can talk to the dead. Presumably, the dead can offer better advice than the living, which is a bit of a worry really.
8. Proverbs 21:19
“Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.”
The Book of Proverbs offers up more excellent marriage advice. The funny verse has a lot of truth to it, as it’s far better to love yourself and be happy with very little than be in a toxic relationship. Maybe try to find somewhere bigger than the corner of the roof, but you get the picture.
9. Acts 20:9-10
“Seated in a window was a young man named Eutychus, who was sinking into a deep sleep as Paul talked on and on. When he was sound asleep, he fell to the ground from the third story and was picked up dead. Paul went down, threw himself on the young man, and put his arms around him. ‘Don’t be alarmed,’ he said. ‘He’s alive!'”
In addition to poems, stories, and verses, the Bible is also self-referential. For example, the Bible and other religious texts sometimes feature dull moments to balance out all the excitement. Acts 20:9 pokes fun at the fact that Paul’s speech and wisdom cause a passenger to fall asleep, with the disciple oblivious to his boring preaching.
10. 2 Kings 2:23
“From there, Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. ‘Get out of here, baldy!’ they said. ‘Get out of here, baldy!'”
Long-flowing hair has always been more popular than a round and bald head. Men losing their hair has been a running joke dating back to the Book of Mark in the New Testament. At one point, a bunch of kids mocks Elisha for being bald like kids making fun of each other during recess. It seems as if bald people have been suffering abuse since the time of Jesus.
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