History is full of mastermind criminals who transcend time, such as Pablo Escobar, D.B. Cooper, and Al Capone. While they’re all notorious criminals, they were highly successful, at least for some time. They committed murders, robbed banks, and blew up restaurants. But for every intelligent criminal, there are ten dumb ones, with this article looking at some of the dumbest criminals of all time.
History is full of dumb criminals who couldn’t escape a crime scene even if the police helped them. Some taunt the police with easily traceable emails or leave a trail of clues that leads police straight to them. The really dumb ones get foiled by ordinary household items or because they’re gassy after eating beans for breakfast. Yes, farts have helped police catch criminals.
Here’s a look at some of the dumbest criminals the world has ever seen.
1. Clothes Hamper Foils Home Intruder
Most people get a scary guard dog or elaborate security system to protect their homes. Apparently, a clothes hamper is just as effective. In Mesa, Arizona, burglar Michael Trias attempted to break into a house. Trias broke a window, jumped through, and fell into the clothes hamper.
The homeowner was in the washroom when he heard a strange sound. He entered the other room to find Trias caught in the clothes hamper. Consisting of netting and PVC, the homeowner helped untangle Trias from the hamper as they waited for the police. The police charged Trias with second-degree burglary and criminal damage.
2. Police Catch Criminal Because of Loud Fart
Clever criminals know to go to the bathroom before committing a crime and avoid gassy food. A man in Missouri learned the importance of going to the washroom the hard way.
In 2019, a Missouri man wanted for possession of a controlled substance fled into the woods to hide from police. However, the police found the gassy man when he let out a loud fart. Not only did the cops arrest the farting man, but they trolled him online by posting on social media about the incident.
3. Shoplifter Caught After Flirting With Cashier
In Scotland, Aron Morrison walked into a local liquor store and stole a bottle of vodka. Before escaping with the bottle, Aron decided to chat with the cashier. After some innocent flirting, he left his name and phone number with the pretty girl. Unfortunately for Aron, she told the police exactly where to find him and the stolen bottle. He’s planning their first date from his jail cell.
4. Drunk Driver Mistakes Police Station for Hotel
In 2009, Mitchell Deslatte hit the road after a few drinks in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Since he was in Baton Rouge, he decided to drive to the nearest hotel and book a room. It turned out young Mitchell was so drunk he entered a police station thinking it was a hotel.
He tried to book a room at the station despite being highly intoxicated. They didn’t have any rooms, but they happily gave him a cell. He has yet to write his Yelp review.
5. Burglar Leaves a Trail of M&Ms Leading To His Location
It didn’t take Colombo to crack this case. In 2010, drunken teen Stephen Crane broke into the offices of a Montana newspaper, the Ravalli Republic. Crane used their computer to check his Facebook and watch adult movies. He couldn’t watch his favorite movies without snacks.
Luckily, he found an M&M trail mix nearby. He enjoyed them so much that he took the M&Ms back to his sister’s apartment. The police located Crane within minutes as he left a trail of candy from the newspaper office to his sister’s front door.
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6. German Bank Robber Caught After Emailing Police
One thing’s for sure; this 19-year-old bank robber is no Zodiac Killer. If the Zodiac Killer had an email account, it would have been a lot easier to catch him. In 2010, a young teen robbed a bank in a small German town, escaping in his car.
One week later, he emailed the police and two newspapers to correct some information. He mocked the police for getting his height, age, accent, and mode of escape wrong. The German authorities got the last laugh when they traced his email to a gambling hall in Hamburg and arrested him.
7. Claustrophobic Car Thief Gets Trapped in Car and Panics
In 2014, a man broke into a car in broad daylight in Pretoria, South Africa. Everything was going according to plan. He picked open the lock, broke in, and tried to start the car. That’s when the auto-lock system activated, trapping the car thief inside.
It was then he realized he was claustrophobic. With no way out, he began to panic, asking people on the street for help. They called the police and he went to prison after being stuck in the car for four hours.
8. Criminal on the Run Hides in Prison
It’s tough finding a good hiding place these days, just ask Blake Leak. After Leak stole from a local mini-mart in Ossining, New York, he needed to find a good hiding place since the police were hot on his trail. Luckily, the cops lost him in the streets when they took a nasty fall.
Leak took advantage and hid in a large building. Leak’s luck ran out because he had actually broken into Sing Sing Prison to hide. He ended up staying longer than he had planned.
9. Vain Criminal Doesn’t Like His Mugshot
In 2016, Donald “Chip” Pugh was shocked to see his mugshot in the news. It wasn’t because he was innocent. He was guilty of his crimes but upset because his mugshot didn’t show his handsome side. The Lima police in Ohio issued a warrant for his arrest after failing to appear in court for a DUI charge.
The incredibly vain Chip didn’t like the mugshot the police used so he put on his best clothes, took the perfect selfie, and sent it to the police. He even included a little note. Authorities arrested Chip a few days later and he got to take another mugshot, this time showing his good side.
10. An Intruder Breaks Into a House To Shower
A woman in Nashville, Tennessee, was sleeping peacefully when an intruder broke into her home at two in the morning. The terrified woman feared the worst and waited for the intruder to find her. Instead, he hung out for a bit, drank some iced tea, and took a shower.
Luckily for the resident, he took a really long shower. He enjoyed his shower and thoroughly cleaned his body, giving her more than enough time to phone the police, who arrived just as he was drying off.
11. Killer’s Tattoos Crime Scene on Chest
In 2004, gang member Anthony Garcia shot John Juarez outside a liquor store in California and almost got away with it. He made one fatal flaw though. Garcia got an accurate tattoo of the crime scene, including Christmas lights and a bent light post in the parking lot.
He thought he was clever by replacing the victim with Mr. Peanut. Four years later, police pulled Garcia over for driving with a suspended license. After taking pictures of his body, the detective assigned to the 2004 shooting noticed the tattoo on Garcia’s chest in a photo. It was such an accurate tattoo that the detective considered it a confession and Garcia was put on trail for murder.
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