The enjoyment of bad tattoos is one of my guilty pleasures in life.
For sheer hilarity, there’s nothing quite like the misguided pride some people display with new body art that’s missing an apostrophe or letter or the tattoo artist’s portfolio with the pop superstar portrait that looks like it’s been put in the microwave on high for a couple of minutes.
I’m not proud of it and I understand it’s hypocritical. Some of my own work isn’t exactly the “duck’s nuts” from being poorly conceived, executed, or both.
Tattoo fails are caused by three central issues: poor skills, ideas, and execution. If a tattoo fail features all three, then your work will likely feature on a list such as this.
If you’re like me and enjoy the trainwreck of bad tattoo designs, then check out the gallery below for some of the internet’s worst tattoos of all time.
NO RAGRETS!
1. Script and Lettering Tattoos
This is so disappointing (unless the dude is a LeBron James detractor). Poor grammar tattoos truly upset me because they can be avoided so easily. If I can run a spell check on a piece of text in Latin (Scio Mi Nihil Scire, for the record) and double check with twenty other strangers that I got it right, then you can make sure your can spell born.
Okay, so the shaky, shoddy black ink is one thing. But the unintelligible text swirls are next level; I spent an hour staring at each girl’s name. This could have been a beautiful tribute to a family member. Hopefully, the lady went to a professional and put some work into thickening it up and making it better.
Look, I’ve written the odd piece while “tired and emotional,” but this sentence has been put through a remix machine after a night out with Hunter S. Thompson. I like the teal, though!
This is the worst library card/marriage contract I’ve ever seen.
Okay, so this is a pretty baller font…oh, wait. Never mind.
I have of questions about this gem, but they’re all really mean. So, I’ll keep the “ting miracles” to myself.
On one level, he’s not wrong, but there are keyboards for that.
4. Spellcheck 5. Talent. 6. The ability for regret
Look, if I’d been scratched up by a like this, I would be serious too. I had a girlfriend who scratched like that back in the day, and it’s hard to cope. Let’s hope he had aloe vera.
You should probably start by changing your tattooist and getting a better font.
Please see me after class.
*Allegedly
2. Portrait Fails
I get upset when someone with a goes to an in good faith, and this happens. If you aren’t up to the job, say you can’t do it. Build your talent and put the work in, and leave Drake out of it.
*** Shakes head sadly. Here’s some free advice: portrait tattoos are some of the most difficult to get right. Do your research, save your money, and please go to a professional to get them done right.
WTF is this? It looks like melted ice cream.
Seriously, this makes me shed … of .
This looks like a screengrab from a zombie movie.
The has a degree of ability. They should have learned to use it before attempting this .
I’ve got a couple of these on the fridge at home. I tell my kids they look shithouse as well.
3. Famous Faces
“An emaciated Bob Marley impersonator, holding a condom and smoking a joint, met me at the door.”
Are we sure this isn’t Steve Buscemi?
So, someone ran the iron over the stencil of Johnny Cash just prior to application?
Diana Ross and the surprise… your is a nightmare.
Marilyn Mon-Noe
4. Animal Tattoo Fails
Covering up a with another even more terrible is quite a feat. It’s like bad decision Inception.
I’m sorry I can’t see this through the . The healing of this would have been extremely uncomfortable, as would the questions from friends and family.
Some freedom eagles shouldn’t be free.
I hope this is not , but one done in Sharpie; I really do.
This fox has had a massive weekend. He should probably have some water and take a nap.
If I were this dog, I would bite the on the butt.
I think this should be a Web MD entry.
“Scientists have discovered the Potato Bird;” I love this so much.
When you shade a , you should actually shade the . Practice in a coloring book, bro, not on someone’s skin.
Hahahahahahaha. This is amazing!
Oh my goodness! I hope that’s one of his kid’s pictures he wanted to honor them with.
The flag of Lebanon at least looks good. But those alien mammal things… ergh.
Thumbs up for not being able to see this abomination!
Wow. I would make sure that dragon never comes close to my village.
Death rides a chunky horse.
5. Pop Culture
No, I don’t want a balloon. I’m calling the police.
Do you think Leia is hoping for cheekbones?
“We’re all mad”…mad about the quality of this tattoo.
When your friend wants to give you a tattoo of Derp Vader, politely decline.
This bunny is enough to crush a Hugh Hefner boner right there.
Even if that were done in prison with a toothbrush, this would be a horrifying .
Same same, but different.
The not very incredible at all Hulk.
Those heels would be really uncomfortable.
Well, that’s one way to ease the sexual tension between Mulder and Scully.
This is a Voldenort out of ten.
Let me see: a chibi of the angel Castiel, Dobby the elf, the Starks of Winterfell, the Christmas lights of Joyce Byers, and a Celtic knot. NO. JUST NO!
There’s a lot going on here. I’ve got a feeling one did all of this work, and nobody spoke up against it. I’m sad.
By order of the Peaky Blinders, you need to do a proper apprenticeship.
6. Sports
Is that Spock? I didn’t know that he liked football.
Tattooed by Jack Easterby… If you know, you know.
Thankfully, this looks more like Byron Scott than Mamba.
I didn’t know Kobe was a shapeshifter, but I’m not surprised.
They do things differently in the south, it seems.
7. WTF
This was a cool that probably should have stayed that way for a bit longer.
This whole looks drunk.
He’s judging all right; buddy, he’s judging.
More like the Eye of Horse amirite?
TutanC’mon man, you can do better than that lazy shading.
Meow, I guess.
Is that a rubber pastry brush?
I’m not into kink-shaming, but Tinkerbell’s husband should probably stick to a suit and tie.
I’m timelessly… in disbelief.
Jay really casts a bright glow, doesn’t he?
I would be quite happy to let this anchor drag me down to the bottom of the ocean.
8. Religious Tattoo Fails
A+ . FAIL for everything else.
Red Bull gives you better wings than these.
I think Jesus is plotting to overthrow the where this was done.
Papa Smurf is just sleeping. It’s okay, kids.
Buddha has been on a weight gain 4000. He should probably hit the gym, though.
I would whack the with that staff a few times if I were the shepherd.
Do not, I repeat, do not make Vin Diesel angry.
9. Bad Linework
Erm, have you ever flown around the egg?
Beer: the solution to, and cause of, problems.
Hey, wanna see my stethoNOPE?
I dunno; maybe you shouldn’t get your bro to you in the backyard?
Obviously, the collision button was on.
He knew, and he was disappointed, too. Hope this is just temporary, not some .
10. Flowers
This looks like it hurt a lot.
Roses are red (and they look like roses, too, not crappy pancakes).
This is a great example of why aftercare is important unless she wants the ink to drop out.
Nothing like freehand drawing some precise geometry to really feel alive.
The ultimate in camouflage : It takes you ages to see how weird looking the bird is because of the shade work.
This is salvageable… maybe.
Just no.
